I honestly hope you all will never have to go through this experience ever, but hands down the wait for a diagnosis is the hardest part of cancer.
Dec 1: I met my general practitioner specifically for a breast health check. Within 1 minute of discussing she said, "I'm sending you for a mammogram and ultrasound regardless of what I feel when I do a physical exam. And, then we're going to do EXACTLY what the breast specialists tell us to. Okay?" It wasn't really a question, more a statement. I left her office at 4:15 that afternoon with an ultrasound order in hand and a list of radiologists in the area. I didn't even drive home, I called to schedule an appointment from my car in the parking lot.
Good thing too, there was an approval missing from the GP that is needed for women under 40. Yup, remember, I'm not even old enough to get screened for Breast Cancer yet. I promptly walked back into the GP's office and asked the front desk for the paperwork. The woman had just closed her computer and said someone would be right with me. I lost it and started to cry for the first time. I had kept it together in the initial meeting with the doctor, but this was too much. I knew time was important and looked at her and said "This is for breast cancer, please help me." She immediately opened her computer up and got me the papers I needed.
I went back to my car and called the radiologist back, I got the first available appointment which wasn't until January 11 - six weeks out. I took it, then drove home and researched every radiologist in the DC area. I called a few more but couldn't get through. I called Johns Hopkins (my alma mater) and got the answering machine that said their hours were 7:30 to 4:30, so already closed for the day. I was crying at this point, and for the first time in my life looked out the window and asked for help (specifically to Mother Nature).
Dec 2: I woke up earlier than normal. I had planned to get a coffee and then start calling places back - I don't do anything before coffee. I have a framed slogan in my kitchen that says "Say yes to adventure... but first coffee." Instead, for whatever reason I walked straight into my office and called Johns Hopkins back at 7:25 am. A woman answered the scheduling line and said their next appointment was for Dec 11th, then she paused "Oh wait, we had an overnight cancellation, that never happens. You're the first caller we can see at 11:30 if you can make it here on time." I responded, "I'll take it! I'll be there." I'm crying at this point, relief crying. No waiting until Jan. 11th. My husband and I are walking the halls waiting for my appointment, I get a call from the receptionist at my General Practitioner's office. "Um Ms., I wanted to call to see if you needed help scheduling a mammogram." I responded "Nope, I called JH and they could see me today, I'm at the hospital now." She responded, "Oh thank God, I saw the Jan. 11th date in the system- that's unacceptable. I'm so glad you got a visit today, that's ideal." I replied, "You know, I thought the same thing."
I get my first ever mammogram, the technician has pink short hair and opted to put a sticker of glittery pink lips on her COVID face shield. "Ms., this won't take long, I may or may not need to take additional photos. The radiologist will decide that."..... Well the radiologist did want extra photos. (You'll see a trend on this one.) I switch rooms to the ultrasound room. A different technician (no pink hair, no glittery lips) takes a bunch of ultrasound measurements. She asks questions like "Ms., do you have children? How old are they?" She takes more images. The radiologist comes in. "Ms., I looked at the mammogram and I'd like to take a closer look. The lump you felt, I'm not worried about that, it's white that means it's abnormal, but not cancerous. Underneath it, there's something dark there I can't really see." She takes more measurements. At this point I'd already done my breast cancer research so I knew simple staging is based on 3 factors T = Tumor size; N = # of lymph nodes involved; M = distant spread. So I ask, "How do my lymph nodes look?" The radiologist is looking at me and holding the ultrasound in her hand said, "Normally we don't look at this point, but why not." She started looking at my lymph nodes, "Good, I'm not seeing much here." She pauses and takes one measurement. She tells me she wants me to get a biopsy and that she'll get it scheduled for me. A few minutes later she walks back in, "Oh good news, we happen to have an opening right at 8am tomorrow. Can you make it?." I'm starting to suspect 8 am or noon means the doctor forced scheduling to open a spot.
Dec 3: A different radiologist walks into the room at 8 am. She's the more senior radiologist and said she happened to have already spoken to both my General Practitioner and the first Radiologist. I'm thinking this was scheduled yesterday afternoon, there's no accident in her having already spoken to the other doctors. This is the Johns Hopkins version of a second opinion- and fast. She does the biopsy and also asks if I have children, we get to talking and she's also a Peloton fan, but we like different instructors. She finishes up. "Ms., normally we'd wait until the biopsy to come back before doing anything. But, I've been diagnosing breast cancer for 18 years and I don't like what I see. It's very suspicious. I called the lead breast cancer surgeon and she can see you at noon on Dec. 11th, can you make that work? I'm so happy she said yes, she really is the best surgeon at Johns Hopkins. But, you need an MRI done before she will have all the information she needs. You'll have to call to schedule that." I'm thinking - obviously I can make that work. Who are these people who can't make a visit with a breast cancer surgeon? I thank her. She turns and says more to herself than to me, "That's everything I can do, there's nothing more I can do."
Just keep swimming.